Moms need some love this year more than ever!
As mother’s day approaches, I think of the ways life has changed and how much extra has landed on our shoulders. I don’t have little ones any longer but boy I can only imagine…
Homeschooling and playing schoolyard referee aside, just the increase in household demands are enough to warrant a lifetime achievement award. The meals in a day went from one supper-time-scramble to countless short-order breakfast and lunch orders, on-demand to meet staggering schedules. The cleaning that used to be done in a short weekly session (by someone else!) seems never-ending when we can’t have an outside agency enter our homes during lock-down. If making healthful meals, and keeping the house clean and sanitary isn’t an essential service, I don’t know what is! Like I said, moms need some extra love this year!
I’ve prepared a gift guide in another post if you are looking for ideas to make someone feel special. A day of relaxing is really all we want. To curl up with a book or a novel, or to pamper ourselves on mother’s day.
To our mothers who showed us how
I set out to write about my mom who set the bar high. She was self-less in her abundance of love expressed through hand-made dresses, home-baked cookies, birthday cakes with money in them (if you grew up with money cakes please reply in the comments)…pies and home-made jam and preserves – just because there’s an abundance of fresh fruit available! All this was done while song filled the air. Oh what a beautiful voice mom has – she still does! My mom dedicated her life to raising four kids and she did it with strength and with grace.
But mothering is about so much more than that and she did it with ease. …and I know you do too!
To all the mothers we learn from
I realised as I dug into my writing that this is more of a love letter to moms everywhere. How wonderful that we set aside this day to honour our mothers, and at the same time, one another. The women who raised us deserve a day of recognition for the work they do tirelessly and without notice. And so do the many mothers who support one-another through raising our families with a network of strength. In the words of Hillary Clinton, “It Takes A Village”!
But so much of the time we question ourselves. Are we doing enough?
So let’s count the ways…
1. For being there
For teachers meetings, for pick-ups after school, for adding special notes in our lunch bags to let us know you care, for baking for our class parties, for volunteering for class trips, taking us to dental appointments … the list goes on. You are enough!
2. For all the little things
Bandaids and hugs. Cutting my grilled cheese sandwich into triangles rather than squares (yep details mattered even then). The little things matter. You are enough!
3. For listening (late night tears)
We girls would talk into the wee hours of the night. Mom instinctively knew that the barriers grew weak as we got tired and we would pour our hearts out about whatever was bothering us. Boyfriends, schoolyard dramas, and life altering questions like – when would we grow breasts? You are enough!
4. For all the moments in-between
Seemingly nothingness fills our hearts with joy whether we are young or young-at-heart to know that someone who cares is sitting quietly nearby – perhaps knitting, or just drinking a coffee and reading a book. Someone cares.
Mom was there. She filled the void, and by her very presence filled it with joy and love.
If you are the mom of anyone, know that you are enough. It’s a role whose job description can’t be written until you meet and face life’s challenges together. Tasked with helping little ones to find their roots and to earn their wings is a big responsibility. Just your love and devotion will give them the roots, from there, it is their job to develop the wings. The confidence to go out and to achieve their dreams comes from a foundation of love and confidence. First yours, then later theirs.
Mother’s Day took on new meaning
For me, mother’s day took on new meaning once I became a new mom. I didn’t know then the extra helping my son would need from me as a special needs kid. It was a job I was unprepared for …and if I were to be honest, it blindsided me. Always a romantic, my fantasy of what might be, quickly dissipated. I set into the hard work of learning a new way to communicate, and to advocate. But we rise to the occasion. I learned on the fly and made my mistakes (many).
Yet, with special needs, also came special gifts. My son is super bright and came with an abundance of love and empathy. On early mother’s day mornings, finger paintings and home-made crafts lit my face with delight, and breakfast in bed of cinnamon toast and a glass of milk filled my heart with joy to see my son’s early efforts to care for another. He learned to give.
One of the most touching moments I recall was once, when my son was little, I had a particularly bad migraine. I dragged myself out of the dark room where I had retreated and came downstairs to where I had parked my son in front of the television, knowing he must be getting hungry, and also knowing it was a few hours until my husband would be home for dinner. Trying not to succumb to waves of nausea at the smell of food, I spread peanut butter on a slice of bread and handed it to my son for dinner. A pathetic supper but it was all I could muster. With an apology I offered it to him. His reply: “its okay mommie, I know it was made out of love”. He learned to receive with grace.
I knew I had done well.